It’s been weeks since I’ve written a blog. And for good reason: my daughter got married exactly one month ago, I’ve spoken at two women’s retreats—each at opposite sides of the U.S–and last week our youngest daughter was home for spring break. My life—like yours—has its seasons of busyness.
All these things were good—great, even. But periods of extreme busyness can impact other areas of our lives. Things fall through the cracks. We get tired. We can become so focused on one thing we neglect others.
Ever been there?
Such was the case in planning Kylie’s wedding. Every part of my life seemed to hinge on one day—February, 22nd. Anything planned after that date seemed only a vague event in the future. I figured I’d get past the wedding and then I’d focus on events to come.
Two days after the wedding JP mentioned he was speaking at a men’s conference the next weekend and had forgotten to tell me (or maybe he did, and I just let it go in one ear and out the other).
“That’s funny. I’m speaking at a women’s conference this weekend, too”.
“Where’s your retreat?”
“Mount Hermon. And yours?”
“Your conference can’t be at Mount Hermon. Mine is.”
Turns out we both spoke at the same conference center in northern CA on the same weekend and never even discussed it! We made different flight arrangements. We had different means of transportation from the airport. We had different rooms. Different everything. We were headed to the same place but on different schedules.
Looking back it seems ridiculous that neither of us thought to communicate about something as significant as being away from home for three days to the other. But that’s what busyness does.
Busyness affects us. It affects our focus, our communication, and even our sense of well being. Couples and families that stay perpetually busy often find they’re going to the same place (we want to have a happy marriage, we want to raise healthy kids, etc) but they aren’t doing it together. No wonder they end up worlds apart.
It can happen to the best of us.
If we let it.
So what can you do if you find yourself in a season of busyness? Ask yourself these questions:
- Does everyone that’s depending on me know my schedule? Do I know theirs? Am I sure?
- Have I taken care of peripheral (but essential) things that I might otherwise forget? Make a list. When you’re extra-busy you’ll forget the things you told yourself you’d remember. Trust me on this one.
- What can I delegate during this busy time? This may be just the time for the kids to step up and learn to do laundry, clean their own rooms or even make dinner. They’ll probably even think its fun (remember they haven’t yet had to come up with 10,000 different ways to make chicken exciting).
- What can I delay until later? Call me crazy, but for years I’d attempt to tackle some extra project around the house when life got especially busy. This never—I repeat, never—went well. I would strongly advise against following my example if you would like to maintain your sanity. Timing, indeed, is everything. (Please note my progress in this area–I didn’t write a blog during my extra-busy season. Go me!)
- Am I taking time to connect with my family, my friends and God? This isn’t a little spiritual tidbit I added for interest. Life spins off its axis if we forget to connect with those we love. Be intentional about your social and spiritual life. Especially when you’re busy.
All of us have busier than usual periods of life. And that’s OK. Good even. But let’s not allow our busyness to make our lives feel like business.
Thank you for this blog. I am a list maker. I like to do the items on my list so I can make a new list with different stuff on it. Sometimes I move too quickly. For example, the other day I signed up for Wednesday nite live and happily crossed that off of my list. My husband sees the flyer on the kitchen table and says, “Hey, I want to do this.” What? Of course I am thinking that now I have to put that back on my list. Instead I just quickly emailed Lori Marshall. Then, I thought, wow, I am so grateful that my husband wants to do this with me. I was so busy wanting to cross things off my list that I did not take the time to say, “Hey, do you want to do this with me?”
This was such a good reminder for me. I’m at a point in my life that I need to make lists or I forgot what hand I write with. I need to be intentional and this is something God is showing me. So, thank you for your willingness to share what you have learned and your encouragement.