What I’ve Learned About Love From My Bride-to-Be Daughter

 

In just twelve days my daughter will go from being Kylie Jones to being Kylie Healy.  In honor their upcoming wedding I thought it would be fun to share a few lessons I’ve learned from young love over the course of their engagement.  And I thought you might like to see a few engagement pictures, too!

1. A look says it all.

I wish you could see her face when he walks in the door of our home.  Or his, when she greets him.  At 6’4” he towers above her petite 5’2” frame.  He looks down, she looks up, but their eyes say it all: I love you. I’m so glad to be with you.  You make my day.

Watching the way they look at each other reminds me that no matter how long we’ve been together, a look has the power to communicate more than words ever could.  One smile.  One glance.  One moment.  These small acts can be game-changing in the way we relate to one another.

So today, I’ll choose a loving smile when my man walks through the door.

 

2. Real love isn’t an event- it’s a life.

“Are you excited about the big day?” I asked, thinking I already knew the answer.  I didn’t.

“I’m excited about the marriage” she answered.

She is so wise.

A wedding is just a party to launch a marriage. It’s not the big events—the wedding, the promotion, the new house, the new baby, the big achievement—that bring the most joy.  These things happen only every-so-often; life happens every day. A wise woman enjoys the marriage as much as she enjoys the “moments”.

Today, I’ll choose to relish the common knowing a marriage’s sweetest memories happen in the midst of daily life.

3. Working toward a common goal is bonding.

Planning a wedding is work.  Lots of work. Last night JP, Kylie, Tim and I sat around our kitchen island and arranged table seating.  Afterwards we listened to potential songs for the bridesmaids to walk down the aisle.  Then we discussed final details that need to be given to the DJ. Then….. You get the point.

Like a wedding, marriage can seem like lots of work.  In fact, building a good marriage is work.   But just as Kylie and Tim can’t have a beautiful wedding without some behind the scenes ole’fashion elbow grease, none of us can have a beautiful marriage without it, either.

But here’s the beautiful part: anytime we work together with loved ones on a common goal—be it planning a wedding, preparing for a baby or prepping a kid for college—working together can be bonding.

Today I won’t dread the work.  I’ll enjoy it, knowing working together brings us together.

4. Working toward a common goal can also be frustrating.

I wouldn’t be honest if I didn’t also mention a few hiccups along the way.  We did have fun arranging table seating last night—after JP and I got in a ridiculous tiff about how he could best help the process We told Kylie we strategically planned our little outburst as a learning lesson on resolving marital conflict (Well played, if I do say so myself).

But that’s life.  Real life.  For everyone.

Building a life together takes teamwork and sometimes working as a team doesn’t flow as well as we would like it to. Or expect it to. Or want it to.

But… No one gave up. No one walked away or pouted or remained mad for more than a few moments. No one allowed temporary frustration, disappointment or anger to cloud the end game. That’s called maturity and it’s what real adults show in moments that are less than ideal.

Today, I will be a grown up and refuse to allow my temporary frustrations to rob me of a lifetime of ultimate joy.

5. Sometimes you just need a little fun.

All work and no play doesn’t just make Johnny a dull boy; it makes him downright unhealthy.  After we finished our wedding tasks (or at least the ones we had brain space to accomplish), want to know what came next?  All four of us watched “The Bachelor”.  Yep. We did. We snuggled up on our sofa and laughed as we shared our running commentary on the wacky shenanigans of the remaining women. It was simple and glorious.

When the day was through, Tim and Kylie said goodnight, while we turned off the lights. I grabbed JP’s hand as we walked side-by-side up our stairs. “You’re not sending me home without a rose?” he teased.

Not on your life.

Today, I’ll end my day with love.