What Makes a Relationship Work?

Who doesn’t want a life filled with great relationships with those around us – our husbands, our kids, our co-workers, our parents, our friends?  But what does it take to make the desire a reality?

Thousands of books have been written on marriage, parenting, friendship, dating and every other relationship you could imagine.  But is there one thing that must be present in order for relationships to work?

I think so.

Years ago my husband J.P. and I were having one of those “relationship” talks common in the early days of marriage.  It was kind of a funny time and place to be discussing such a serious topic – we were getting dressed, walking from the closet, to the bathroom, to the bedroom and back.  But anyone who has been married more than 2 1/2 nano-seconds knows that sometimes the best conversations take place at the most unconvential times.

“What do you think it takes to have a really good marriage?” I asked him.

Perched on the edge of our bed, he had just bent down to tie his shoe.  He stopped, looked up and answered.

“Well, what I think now is different from what I thought a couple of years ago” he responded.

I was intrigued.

He continued.  “I used to think that love or passion or common goals or good communication were the things it took to have a great relationship.  But not anymore.  Don’t get me wrong, those things are important.  They’re just not the most important.” 

“Well, what is?  What does it take to make a marriage work?”

“Humility.” 

The minute he said it I thought he was right.  Nearly 25 years and 3 kids later, I know he was right.

A humble wife, mom or friend says  things  like…

“What do you think?”

“How do you see the situation?”

“I’m sorry for my part in this conflict.”

A humble woman thinks things like…

“What is he feeling right now?”

“I think I am right, but I could possibly be wrong.”

“The other person’s needs, desires and thoughts are just as important as mine.”

Think about it for a minute.  If two people are humble is there anything they couldn’t work through? 

So, how are you on the humility scale?  Could a teensy bit of selfishness, pride, anger or bitterness be clouding the potential you have of having a really great relationship?

Just think about it…..

“God is opposed to the proud but gives grace to the humble”

James 4:6