Don’t you sometimes wish you could control everything (at least in your own little world)? Come on. Admit it. You know you do.
At least sometimes.
If we could control everything we would never misplace our keys. Never end up in the emergency room. Never have a child who rebels. Never lose our job. Never run late. Never wonder where we’ll get the money. Never…..well, you get the picture.
Sounds kind of nice, doesn’t it?
Kind of like heaven.
Ah…but we are not there. Yet.
We are here.
And here, we don’t control things (as much as we like to try). God does.
This little lesson is one God has been teaching me this week. I’ll admit that I have learned more about letting God control my schedule/time/attitude/day, by my failures than by my successes.
God’s lesson plan started last Monday when a computer glitch cost me five extra hours on the day my manuscript was due. I passed that test pretty solidly. Although I briefly considered taking the route to panic palace, I resisted, and instead simply pressed through. With a good attitude, I must admit.
But that was Monday.
Tuesday presented a whole set of different setbacks; ones I didn’t navigate nearly so well. I woke up out of sorts for no real reason, and day progressed from bad to worse. Delays. Interruptions. Cancelled appointments. Meetings with friends that didn’t pan out. Endless wasted minutes sitting in extra long carpool lines with moms who craftily tried to inch their shiny sports cars, SUVs and mini-vans into the front of the line right before my eyes (That little scenario will have to be the topic for another day’s blog). A car that needed the same repair for the sixth time in six months. Silly stuff, in the grand scheme of life, but stuff that began to pile so high it brought low my ability to gracefully handle the ever increasing interruptions to my well made plans.
May I be candid? My attitude stunk.
Wednesday was a bit better. Not so much because of my attitude, but more because my day went pretty much according to plan. Then came Thursday…….
I rose early, dressed for a speaking event, grabbed my Starbucks and hit the road. Over half way to San Diego (a solid hour from my house, where the event was to take place) my cell phone rang. “Uh, Donna…I hope you haven’t driven too far…” Turns out the church water line broke and the church had to be shut down.
Seriously. Like that happens every day.
I hung up the phone and actually laughed out loud.
“OK God, what are you trying to say to me, because you have certainly got my attention?”
Wanna know what God said?
“You get yourself all wound up when you try to control. Your mission is not to control, it’s to steward. My job to control what happens in your day. Your job is to manage it. Take whatever I give you and steward it well.”
Now I am sure you are much more spiritual than me and probably never, ever struggle with keeping a good attitude in the face of interruption, inconvenience or insensitivity. But on the outside chance that things like…
“Mom, can you come here? Again.”
“The meeting is running behind schedule today.”
“Your child is sick. Please come immediately.”
“I thought I told you I needed a poster board for my project (said at 10 pm on a school night)”.
“Your appointment was yesterday.”
“Sorry for the late notice, but I’ll need that _____ today.”
…ever sends you into the emotional twilight zone, remember the mission:
My job isn’t to control what happens. My job is to steward what happens well.
