Why??????

Every time I eat at Daphne’s Greek Cafe in Tustin, CA I ask myself the same question. Technically speaking, every time I use the ladies room at Daphne’s, I ask myself the same question–Why?

Before your mind goes down the rabbit trail of believing I so some pretty deep thinking in the restroom, let me show you why I ask “why?’

Notice anything odd?

If you can’t quite figure out what’s missing, I’ll clue you in.  There are two toilets sitting in the middle of the restroom with no doors for privacy.  To further clarify, this restroom has a lock on the door, meaning, of course, that’s it’s meant for one person at a time.  Last time I checked, a single person only needs one toilet.  So…..the obvious question. Why?

More honestly, I’ve wondered “what  idiot did this?”  (Yes, I know, I’m a pastor’s wife and all that, so I’m not supposed to think like this.  But still…..)

So today I decided to find out why.  For all I knew, the builder may have had a perfectly good reason for the design.  So I called the nice manager at Daphne’s.  His name is Brian, and he is most kind.  And he knows it’s a stupid set-up. But Brian doesn’t know why, either, which left us both laughing over the the idiot designer’s reasoning.

You’re  probably wondering where I’m going with all this, so let me make my point.

Do you know how often we characterize others as “idiots” (or some other derogatory label–you fill in the blank) simply because we don’t know the reasons behind their actions?

Ever thought…

Why did my husband allow that?  What an idiot!

Why did my teenager do that? What an idiot!

Why did my in-law say that? What an idiot!

Why did my neighbor choose that? What an idiot!

Why does my boss act like that? What an idiot!

Just seeing thoughts like these in writing makes me squirm.  Seems a bit harsh, doesn’t it?  A bit cold, too.

But if we are honest, we’ve probably all had a thought or two like these before.  It occurred to me today (NOT while I was sitting on the toilet!), that perhaps we would all be a bit better off finding out why a person does what he or she does before we label them.

Maybe our husband had a piece of information we didn’t possess.  Maybe our teenager took the best of two options.  Maybe our in-law is lonely and in need of some love.  Maybe our neighbor has financial struggles. Maybe our boss is under serious pressure to perform. Generally, people do what makes sense to them at the time.  Of course, that doesn’t mean other’s reasons will always make sense to us, or even be rational or wise or godly, but still, it helps to understand the “why’s” behind behavior when dealing with those around us.

Jesus knew this.  That’s why when asked a question, he often answered with a question.  He knew the “why’ behind the “why?”  In other words, he looked at people’s motives and hearts. He understood the real issue before he responded, before he labeled. (And just for the record, Jesus never called anyone an idiot).

So, the next time I see someone do or say something that makes absolutely no sense to me, I’ll stop and ask “why?” before making a judgement.

And thanks, Daphne’s Greek Cafe, for your very odd restroom. Just goes to show you that life lessons can be learned just about anywhere.