Recently, a longtime friend shared some of her elderly client’s unfiltered statements. We laughed at some, shook our heads in disbelief at others, but generally agreed that being totally unfiltered, no matter our age is not a desirable trait.
We don’t have to be old to struggle with an unfiltered mouth.
If you’re like me, you’ve regretted something you’ve said more than once.
This is problematic because unfiltered words do more to damage relationships and the people in the relationships than almost any other type of sin.
What makes us yell at our kids, criticize our husbands, or cut down those we disagree with? What causes us to be snarky when we could be gracious, sarcastic when we could be kind, or pushy when we could be patient? What motivates us to gossip or slander another’s character? What moves to say something discouraging when we could simply remain silent?
Where does all this unfiltered, unhelpful, unholy speech come from? Especially if we don’t want this to be true of us?
Jesus told us the answer:
A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of. (Luke 6:45 NIV)
In biblical times, the “heart” referred to not only one’s emotions but also one’s mind.
We don’t say things we first haven’t thought.
Or felt.
Or both.
But look more closely at Jesus’s words. “Stored up in his heart” is repeated twice. “Stored up” implies more than just a fleeting thought; stored up implies an ongoing filing away.
And here’s the kicker: in Greek (the original language of the New Testament) the first “stored up” which refers to the good person with good words means “a storehouse of treasure” but the second “stored up” which refers evil words isn’t treasure.
It’s abundance.
Wow. An abundance of negative words is a direct result of an abundance of negative thoughts.
This morning, I read these words from noted author, scholar, and biblical thinker, Dallas Willard:
“An essential investment of our life with God is to take care of our minds by cultivating our thoughts. The unkempt mind becomes obsessive, and then the will works from those frenzied thoughts.2”
More of us can identify with obsessive, frenzied thoughts than we care to admit.
So, what’s the solution to an unkept, unfiltered mind and mouth?
Simple. A filter.
Something that sifts out the bad and keeps the good.
Philippians 4:8 is the filter:
8 Finally, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.
Frankly, when I struggle with negative, obsessive thoughts, the first one is all I need to stop me in my tracks: Is it true? (Am I sure it’s true?)
This doesn’t mean we don’t accurately assess sin or think about hard things. It’s not saying we should stick our heads in the sand and pretend everything is peachy-keen. Rather, it’s instructing us to filter our thoughts through the lens of truth—the whole truth—and not just emotion or opinion.
So, for instance, if I filter my thoughts through truth and honor (just to pick the first two) then even if I need to say something difficult, I’ll be both honest and gracious.
My words are an overflow of my heart.
The Psalmist knew this. This is why he prayed, May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer. (Psalm 19:14)
If we struggle with our words, or with obsessive, frenzied thoughts, here are three things that can help:
- Memorize Philippians 4:8 and use it as a filter.
- Ask, what is my mind dwelling on and why is it dwelling there? The answer to these questions will unearth what’s really going on in your heart.
- Talk to God about your thoughts and your words. Ask for His help using Psalm 19:14 as your guide.
xo,
Donna
PS. Be sure to check out the latest episodes of the That’s Just What I Needed podcast. I’ve had powerful guests with inspiring stories that will be just what you need!
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