You’re Not Living Moments; You’re Living Memories. A note to my children for Mother’s Day.

Dear Taylor, Kylie and Ashton,

I always knew I wanted you.  Even before your dad and I met, I knew.

And then ….one day there was you.  All three of you.

I remember the feeling of euphoria the first time I held you. How I watched you sleep peacefully in your tiny bassinet. How your soft, newly formed skin felt against my own. How we longed to for you sleep through the night and how panicked I felt when at last you did. How we laughed at your tiny cries.

At first.

Some days were easier than others.  You made me slow down, which I simultaneously loved and hated, depending upon the moment. You made getting out of the door more time consuming than I ever thought humanly possible.  But you also taught me to be as prepared as possible and to be as flexible as necessary.

You helped me grow up as I helped you grow up.

I thought we were living moments; now I realize we were living memories.

You made me rethink my actions.  And my reactions.  You taught me patience.  And perseverance.  And what grace looks like when it’s lived out for real.

Looking back, that’s one thing I think we did well.  Grace.

And respect.

We did laughter really well, too.  I’ve always thought people would be surprised to know how truly goofy we are.

We played a lot.  We prayed a lot more. Maybe these things go together.  I suppose in giving grace and in getting grace a transaction occurs that causes deep gratitude, respect for each other and an abundance of joy.

I loved all three of you from the beginning.  Somewhere early on, I realized I liked you, too.

Dad’s the one that coined the phrase, “I love you and I like you”.  Remember how we used to say it?  I hope you know how much we meant it, and still do.

Honestly, you were easy to like, despite the moments when I didn’t like what you did.  Because though I didn’t always like the action or the attitude, I always liked you.

I’m pretty sure that when you didn’t like my attitudes or actions you always liked me, too. I want you to know that sometimes I didn’t like my attitudes or actions either. Being a mom was harder than I thought. Sometimes it brought out the worst in me, which I hated because I wanted nothing more than to be the best mom I could.  You deserved that.

But being your mom also brought out the best in me. My mom planted the seed of who I would become.  You, my precious children, cultivated it.

So here we are. Mother’s Day is Sunday and I know you’ll pause to say thank you.  But I am the one who is grateful.  My heart is full.  You don’t need to give me a gift.  You are my gift.

You’ve always been my greatest accomplishment, my greatest blessing and my greatest joy.

Taylor, Kylie and Ashton:  I love you dearly and I like you deeply.

I’ve always felt this way.  I always will.

And Taylor and Kylie: you’ve each chosen a spouse who I also love and I like.  Believe me when I tell you I know I am blessed.

Thank you for the humbling privilege of being your mom.