I’m Supposed to Believe God Loves Me, But I Don’t

My daughter was gathering her things to leave when a 20-something gal walked into our church office.

“Can I help you?” Ashton asked. The gal had driven to church in hopes someone would be there to help relieve her anxiety and spiraling thoughts of despair.

“I know I’m supposed to feel like God loves me, but I don’t. And, I don’t know what to do about it.”

Her simple confession gave voice to the private question so many of us wonder: Does God really love me?

Here’s what most Christian women believe, though few of us actually admit it:

  1. God loves the world.
  2. God loves other people.
  3. God doesn’t actually love me (He kinda tolerates me, though He wishes I was a better Christian/mom/wife/daughter/friend/human.)

But, is it really such a big deal if we don’t truly believe God loves us?

Actually, it’s a huge deal.

If we doubt God’s love the next logical step is to doubt God, period.

Our enemy would love nothing more than to whisper the condemning, burdensome lie that:

  1. I must be perfect–always strong, always full of faith, always unwavering–for God to love me.
  2. If my life isn’t perfect–if it’s hard, if my prayers go unanswered, if my hopes go unfulfilled–then God doesn’t love me.

In other words, “If I’m not perfect, and my life isn’t perfect, it means God doesn’t love me.”

But is this true? 

Does it mean God doesn’t love me if I’m not as good as I should be and my circumstances aren’t as good as I want them to be?

Consider what God says about who He is and how He relates to us:

(Savor every word of this passage. I don’t often post long Bible passages but this is God’s message to YOU, today. And friend, God wants you to know this. He sees you in whatever circumstance you find yourself in, and He loves you.)

 And the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness. For example, we don’t know what God wants us to pray for. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words.27 And the Father who knows all hearts knows what the Spirit is saying, for the Spirit pleads for us believers in harmony with God’s own will. 28 And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them. 29 For God knew his people in advance, and he chose them to become like his Son, so that his Son would be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters.30 And having chosen them, he called them to come to him. And having called them, he gave them right standing with himself. And having given them right standing, he gave them his glory.

31 What shall we say about such wonderful things as these? If God is for us, who can ever be against us? 32 Since he did not spare even his own Son but gave him up for us all, won’t he also give us everything else? 33 Who dares accuse us whom God has chosen for his own? No one—for God himself has given us right standing with himself. 34 Who then will condemn us? No onefor Christ Jesus died for us and was raised to life for us, and he is sitting in the place of honor at God’s right hand, pleading for us.

35 Can anything ever separate us from Christ’s love? Does it mean he no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or hungry, or destitute, or in danger, or threatened with death? 36 (As the Scriptures say, “For your sake we are killed every day; we are being slaughtered like sheep.”[o]) 37 No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us.

38 And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrownot even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. 39 No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.

(Romans 8: 26-39 NLT)

As we sat around our kitchen island Ashton told me more about her conversation with the gal who wondered about God’s love. They chatted for an hour or so, and as they ended Ashton paused to ask, “do you like to write things out or do you like to talk things out?”

She liked to talk things out.

“OK, tonight, right before you go to bed, I want you to say, out loud:

God loves me.

God sees me.

God made me.

God has a purpose for my life.

God is always with me.

God will never leave me.

God is glad that I’m His child.

Wow! So. Good.


Maybe, just maybe, you are in a season where you doubt God’s love for you. If so, God sent this blog post as His gentle reminder that He loves you, He sees you, He made you, He has a purpose for you, He is with you, and He is oh-so-glad that you are His child.

You are loved,


P.S. If you’d like more inspiration and encouragement you can join Donna on Instagram @donnaajones and/or @donnajonesspeaker. She’d love to connect with you there!




  1. Gail

    Thank you… this is so good and so needed! 🙏❤️

  2. Kathy Harrington

    I stumbled upon this by NO accident! I am 63 and have always believed in God and His son Jesus. However I have always doubted His love for me. It’s a horrible way to live each day. It’s frightening.

    1. donnajones

      Kathy, I’m so glad you reached out! It was no accident that you “stumbled” onto this blog post. It was God’s way of saying, “I see you and I love you.” The enemy wants you to believe you are unlovable. But, when you remember Christ gave His life for you it’s easier to see and accept His love. I hope this helps.


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