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Here’s to one of life greatest gifts–girlfriends!

Without them we wouldn’t be who we are. Friends–the right kind of friends–make us better, stronger, wiser. They make us laugh. They keep us real. They tell us the truth, even if it’s not what we want to hear. They listen to our woes, even if it’s not what they want to hear.

But then again, a true friend pretty much always wants to hear whatever we have to share. This fact alone is reason enough to make spending time with friends a priority. Smile. No. Big smile.

But not all friends bring out the best in us. Not all friends give us wise advice. Not all friends lead us down paths we really want to travel. No doubt you’ve heard “show me your friends and I’ll show you your future”.  If our future is influenced by our friend choice, then we need to make sure we surround ourselves with women who will help us become the people we want to become. We need to make sure we’re that type of friend, too.

So how do you know if you’ve surrounded yourself with the right kind of friends?

  1.  A true friend can be trusted. Never underestimate the power of loyalty. Never betray it, either. Real friends have your back, they don’t talk behind your back. They wouldn’t even think of it. A true friend believes in you, so she believes the best about you. And if something difficult needs to be said, she says it to you or she doesn’t say it at all (because sometimes little things are better left unsaid).
  2. A true friend can be counted on. She doesn’t just say she cares, she does care. True friends pitch in when needed and are happy to help.  Why?  Because when you love someone that’s just how you roll.
  3. A true friend holds expectations loosely. True friends understand some seasons of life are busier than others. When others want to hem you in, true friends cut you free. They aren’t clingy,or hyper-needy or ultra-sensitive. And when life slows down, you pick back up without missing a beat.
  4. A true friends loves your kids. She understands your children are an extension of you. A true friend cheers your family successes and grieves your family losses. A true friend completes your life, she doesn’t compete with your life.
  5. A true friend allows you to be real. You don’t have to pretty up yourself (or your house or your life) with a genuine friend. You can allow a true friend to see the true you, knowing she loves you, imperfections and all.
  6. A true friend speaks the truth. While fair-weather friends might tell you what’s easy, a true friend will tell you what’s hard. She’ll be honest but she’ll be gentle. A true friend says what’s best because she genuinely has your best in mind.
  7. A true friend prays for you. You know you have a good friend when she’ll take time to talk to God about you, your family and your concerns.

How do you find a friend like this?

  1. Be a friend like this. It’s been said, “we can make more friends in five minutes being interested in other people, than we can make in five years getting other people to be interested in us.”
  2. Pray for a friend like this. If you’re missing good friendships, or are in need of some new healthy ones, ask God to provide. Then open your eyes. That new friend you’re longing for might be closer than you think.
  3. Initiate. Most women would love an invitation to grab a cup of coffee, go on a walk around the neighborhood or meet for lunch. Branch out. Reach out. You can’t make a new friend if you don’t.
  4. Call an old friend, one you’ve lost touch with but still hold dear in your heart. You won’t regret it and neither will she.
  5. Join a group where you’ll likely meet women who can become true friends. Women’s Bible studies or small groups; MOPS; parent, community or volunteer organizations–these groups are filled with women who are potential friends. Don’t neglect what might be right in front of your eyes.
[bctt tweet=”A true friend completes your life; she doesn’t compete with your life.” username=”donnajonesspeak”]



More than a Bible teacher, Donna is a self-described Bible explainer. A colorful storyteller who combines Biblical truth with real-life anecdotes, her messages not only help listeners understand God’s Word, but most important, grasp how to live it out in real life.