Has All the Negative Made You Negative?

You’ve read about stinkin’ thinkin’ (if you haven’t, check out my last blog post) but have you ever considered stikin’ talkin’?

Recently, I realized I’ve become a victim of stinkin’ talking. Correction: I’ve become a perpetrator of stinkin’ talking. I suspect you might be able to relate.

Let me explain…

Last week I was in the midst of a typical weeknight conversation with my husband. We weren’t discussing anything of particular importance, just everyday stuff. And then, smack dab in the middle of my monologue, I experienced a slice of self-awareness that stopped me in my tracks.

Listen to yourself. Every other sentence is negative.

My light bulb moment caused me to focus on my words, almost in an out-of-body sort of way. And yes, indeed, I was negative.

How did I become this way? When did I become this way? I’m pretty sure I haven’t always been Donna Downer. I’m generally an upbeat, positive person (at least I think I am. Or used to be).

But, there I was, conscious of my own words. I couldn’t deny the reality of what I heard.

And, I knew something needed to change: namely, Me.

But, before I could change I needed to admit a few truths about my negativity:

  1. For the past eighteen months I’ve allowed the negative input of the news, Netflix, and social media to outweigh the positive input of God’s truth–and I’m a gal who reads her Bible nearly every day! This admission should tell you how much I’ve allowed myself to get caught up in the negative spin-cycle of the world.
  2. I haven’t allowed sufficient time and space for rest–body, mind, or soul. Instead, I’ve lived in physical and emotional overdrive.
  3. I’ve engaged in near nonstop, “the-world-is-going-to-hell-in-a-handbasket” conversations with friends and family members.
  4. My negative conversations have left little room for positive praise and thankfulness.
  5. Over time, little bits of negative input from others and equally negative output by me, has produced negative consequences for my physical and mental well-being, and my overall perspective.

So, I guess it’s true: garbage in, garbage out.

Can you relate?

Stinkin’ thinking poisons our brain, causing stinkin’ talking to poison our words, our conversations, and by default, our relationships.

So, what has been the outcome of my newfound self-awareness?

Truthfully, I’m in the process of figuring it out.

But, I will tell you that once I became aware of what I was doing and why I was doing it, I’ve made some changes.

I’ve been more intentional about limiting negative input. I’ve been more committed to boundaries and rest. I’ve been increasingly conscious of what I say and how I say it.

And, this morning, while pastor/hubby shaved and I put on my make-up, we had a quick, but deep, conversation about the importance of not overlooking God’s simple, but many, blessings in our lives. Praise and  thankfulness ushers us into God’s presence–the very place I need to be!

I’ve also committed myself to obey God’s Word found in Philippians 2:14-15:

Do everything without grumbling or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, “children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation.” Then you will shine among them like stars in the sky as you hold firmly to the word of life. (Philippians 2:14-15)

Plain and simple, my words are my witness.

Negative people don’t shine, and they certainly don’t show the character of Jesus to a watching world. Is it any wonder God tells us to stop the grumbling, complaining and arguing?

I have a sneaky suspicion I’m not the only one who’s succumbed to the downward spiral of stinkin’ talking.

Want to join me on the journey of purging the poison of negative thinking and talking from pouring out of your life? If you do, leave a simple comment with the words, “I’m in!

You are loved, (which is another reason not to be negative. Smile)


PS. Follow Donna on Instagram @donnaajones and/or @donnajonesspeaker. Donna would love to share with your group at your next event. Contact her here.


    1. donnajones

      Yippee! Glad so many of us are doing it together.

    1. donnajones

      We’er doing it together with lots of other women I’ve heard from! 🙂

  1. Anna Erwin

    I’m in!!!!

    Such a timely article that popped up in my email! Good stuff.

  2. Susanna Yoder

    I needed this! I’ve recently become aware of a nasty root of negativity and attitude in my children, and in reflecting on it all I’ve come to the conclusion that I’ve been negative and “gloomy” far too much and it has affected my children. Lord help me. I just ordered your “zoo” book. I am looking forward to reading it. But in the meantime, I’m pledging to focus on my own negative behavior and see if that helps the attitudes in my children.

    1. donnajones

      I can so relate, Susanna. And, judging from the amount of emails I’ve gotten, we are not alone! I’m so glad you ordered the book. Keep reading the blog posts because I’m going to write more on this issue as I’m learning about it myself. 🙂

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