Lord, Change Me!

Last week at Bible study I happened to ask my gals a question that haunted me all week long.  It has rattled around in my brain for days because truthfully, the question convicted me.  And I hadn’t even planned on asking it. 

Our workbook (an excellent study of Philippians written by my dear friend, Jean E. Jones)  had us circle which statement Paul prayed for the Philippians when they learned of his imprisonment.  These aren’t the exact answers, but they went something like this:

a. that the Philippians would be rescued from hardship.

b. that Paul would be rescued from hardship.

c. that their business and personal lives would flourish and thus, glorify God.

d. that they would grow more in their knowledge, depth of insight and love

Of course the answer was d.  But what struck me was less about what Paul did pray, and more about what he didn’t pray. He didn’t pray for deliverance or freedom from hardship or prosperity or favor.  He prayed for character and spiritual maturity.

You don’t have to be a rocket scientist to figure out why this convicted me.  When I examine my prayers I am embarrassed to admit that if you boil it all down, most of my requests involve asking for God’s blessing in some form or another.  

God, help me write my talk for this week’s Bible study. (Bless my time of preparation)

God, help my child do her best on her test. (Bless her efforts)

God, keep my son safe and make him productive. (Bless his life)

God, help me know how to handle this situation. (Bless my circumstance)

God direct me.  Provide for me.  Empower me. Fill me.  (Bless me, bless me, bless me)

Is there anything wrong with these prayers? No, not at all.  They are just incomplete.

Aside from the occasional, God, give me patience (or wisdom or love) I couldn’t recall the last time I asked God to change my character.  How often do I ask God to make me humble?  When was the last time I asked him to enable me to endure and not lose heart?  How frequently do I ask God to make me a person of utter integrity in thought as well as in deed?

See what I mean?  Convicting, huh?

Around our Bible study table we all admitted to praying for our kids’ or husband’s character more than our own.

I had to ask myself why.  Do I think that just because I’m a grown up, somehow that means I have spiritually grown up?  Do I not see the need or the importance?  Do the external factors of life seem more pressing than the internal factors?

How could I have been so clueless?  Why haven’t I been praying as much for my character and spiritual maturity as for my circumstances? I suppose the reason doesn’t really matter.

The response does.

So I have a new perspective on prayer. I won’t stop praying for God’s blessing, but I will start praying for my heart.

Lord Jesus,

I want to love you more deeply, love others more completely and become more like you.  Don’t change my circumstances unless it’s your will.  Change me instead. Amen.