On Tuesday afternoon I walked into a restaurant—alone—to join a group of about 25 or so speakers and writers in southern California. It was to be a time of networking, reconnecting and encouragement. I found a seat among strangers. We chitchatted among ourselves until it was time for each of us to formally introduce ourselves to the group. We were given one minute to give our name and a description of our ministry. Even though I am a speaker, I HATE this kind of stuff. I don’t like talking about what it is that I do. I would rather do what I do than talk about what I do. Know what I mean?
When my turn came I stood, gave my 60 second spiel, and sat down.
But I was one of the few women who only took one minute to introduce herself. Others took 5 minutes. Some took 10 minutes and even longer. I started to feel inadequate.
She’s done so much! Why didn’t I say more? My life looks small and pitiful compared to hers. These thoughts rattled around in my brain as woman after woman eloquently expressed how God was using her life. And then the kicker……
I stood in line to say good-bye to the founder of the organization who sponsored this meeting (a renowned speaker and author for many decades) while I watched her warmly shake hands with those ahead of me. When I finally reached her, she had only one thing to say to me: What do the women of your church think about your hair? Seriously. That’s what she said. And trust me on this, it wasn’t a compliment. And you know what’s worse? I thought I looked cute that day.
Needless to say, I got back into my car feeling like a big, fat zero.
We are such fragile little things, aren’t we? A few days ago I posted about how we aren’t paper plates; we are fine china. And we are. But just like fine china, we break pretty easily. All it takes is a word. A comment. A question. And our confidence is shaken. We start to believe what we’ve suspected for years: we’re not special after all. Just a throw away paper plate.
I know this may sound stupid, but ever since her comment I’ve had to battle the temptation to believe the lies Satan keeps whispering. Lies like, you aren’t good enough. You’re unimportant. You aren’t a good mom. You must not love God as much as other woman. Or worse, God must not love you as much as he does others.
The funny thing is, if someone told me that these are the things she battled, I would tell her straight out that these thoughts are simply not true—they’re from the evil one. But when you are vulnerable, you are easy prey.
I have a sneaking suspicion that my battle isn’t unique. Can you relate? I’m guessing that you can.
Lord,
Help me to remember that the thief comes to steal, kill and destroy but you have come that I would have life and have it abundantly. Satan is the father of lies, but you Oh God, are the author of truth. Fill my mind with the truth of your word and your love. Help me see my life as you see it. More importantly, help me see you. Amen.
PS. If you happen to attend my church, I hope you care more about my heart than my hair. 🙂
OK, first, I’ve known you for about 10 years and I love your heart and love of God. Your hair is great! since I’ve moved, I’ve been dealing with a very painful knee, back, etc. problem.. The evil one has been causing me lots of scary thoughts, such as what if I need surgery. I haven’t stopped praying to God that He would take away the pain, and for the past 5 days I have had little pain!! My point? The devil never stops, but God is the winner!!
I haven’t had the ability to try finding a new church here in Redlands, but I hope when I do there will be a Donna there to remind me to stay connected.
I really miss Crossline and JP’s sermons from the Bible.
P.S. I miss your hair too!
Blessings to you. Please tell your mom and dad hi for me
Jaci
Oh my goodness!!! I like your hair! (And I am really stumped… what in the world could be wrong with your hair???? It is adorable!) And I LOVE your heart. And I LOVE YOU!! As I was reading, I thought you were going to say that she thanked you on the way out for only taking 1 minute… YOU followed directions. YOU were humble. (As you always are.) There’s something that feels very wrong about christian speakers tooting their own horns. The human side of this girlfriend of yours wants to go find this woman and punch her in the nose, or mess up her hair. But that is probably not a very good idea. And you certainly don’t need me to defend you, when you have God 🙂 Instead, I will just tell you that YOU are God’s precious gift to me, the women of our church and every person who knows you. You unselfishly and transparently teach God’s Word and share your life with us week in and week out. You inspire me to want to know and love God more every single day. Sweet friend… you stand tall. Be proud of your hair and your heart. God is doing great things through you. I love you!
Donna,
I had the pleasure of hearing you speak today. I am not sure how you replied to this lady about your hair, but I hope it was something along the lines, “I don’t know what people think about my hair, but I know what they think of my heart.” or “Well this is what God has given me to work with, and I just know the people at my church lift me up in prayer and I lift them up too.”
Anyway, I wanted to say, do not feel small, fragile, or shaken. God has given you a voice and a message to spread, and when you lay your head down know in your heart…your message reached me on a deeper level. I might go so far as to say you changed my life, for the better.
So thank you!
Jamie,
Thanks for your sweet comments and for taking the time to let me know how God used my words (His words, actually) to influence your life and your marriage. May God bless your obedience to choose to love!
Warmly,
Donna
Donna,
As a member of your church I can say with the utmost confidence that I care more about your heart than your hair! You are a warm, caring, kind, and loving woman of God. Open up your door and tell satan to flee!
Blessings,
Robin